They are not ours, they belong to God!!

This has been one of the hardest concepts for me to grasp.
I have spent countless hours in prayer that god keep Erin safe, that Deaner likes his new home, that Tiffany finds a job, that Britney has a good day, that Tammy comes back to me.

But then when I am quiet and my anxiety has settled, I hear God say, "Jeannie... they are now and always will be mine, I love them even more than you do, I've got it all covered, so relax!!!"

I know in my heart that this is true, but in my obsessive mind I still feel like I need to think about their lives as though I can do something about it. Well that is just stupid!!

When Erin went to Afghanistan it was so very hard for me to know that my son would be placed in harms way. Is it not my job to protect my children!? How can I handle this?
I remember the first time he was fired on I wanted to throw up! I was a mess!! I don't know if any mother can prepare for those kind of feelings. I know I didn't! If I had stayed in that state I would have gone crazy.

So, I humbled myself and talked with a friend from church who is so much further in her walk with Christ than me. She just let me ramble on, cry and be mad at God. Then she told me what I had never thought of before. That God loves my kids more than I ever could and my job now is to pray for them and ask God to give me the strength to be the parent I need to be for them.

Wow!!! Was that ever a weight off my shoulders! I now knew that I am am no longer accountable for them, that their successes as well as their failures are theirs alone, not mine. This was so freeing. And the most relief of all was that Jesus lives in Erin's heart, he is not there alone, God is with him in every step he makes! Praise the Lord!! (but I still need to hear from him often)

Tammy is not yet back in my life, but through working my steps in Celebrate Recovery I have been able to turn that issue over to God and I know with all that I am that God is going to restore our Mother, daughter relationship. But it will be in His time, not mine.

We raise our children with the best of intentions and the highest of hopes, then it is our job to send them out into the great big world to prove that all along they were listening to all that nagging we gave them! And it has been my experience, so far that they were hearing ever word!

Where is the line?

I know that my blog name is "Send Me! Isaiah 6:8" and I do plan on getting to that.

But I had it on my heart today to talk about the area of boundaries.
This, because the lack of or unhealthy boundaries can and will cause us so much trouble in life!!

This year is my first of "empty nest". I want to know where the book is that tells us a fool proof way to live with and love our adult children. OK, and have them love us back!!

I have trampled all over the solid boundary lines when it comes to my kids! And I know better!! I think that I am still in the "parent" mode, that I am having a hard time stepping back and allowing them to make their own mistakes and suffer their own consequences. I want to intervene so they won't have to be hurt. Well what I am doing is stealing their opportunity for a lesson they NEED to learn.

In most circles this is simply called "co-dependency"!!!! And yes I have issues with this when it comes to my kids, even though they are now adults. Nuts isn't it!!!? On the (very few) occasions that I have just left well enough alone... you know what? the world did not end, they figured out the answer to THEIR problem and I got a full nights sleep!! Who knew!!

My kids know if they ask me for advise they are going to get what they need to hear, maybe not what they want to hear. But now I am trying very hard to not offer up this advise without it being ask for first! Not an easy thing to do and I am yet to master it!

I want to walk each day as God would want me to. I want to be good counsel to those who ask, I want to have my words be the words that God has given me to say. Boy is this hard when I still struggle to do life on my own terms!!

I have so far to go... but I am sure not where I use to be!! When it comes to boundaries I work hard to remember where I start and end. That is where I have control. MY thoughts, words, actions and yes even emotions. All those things
I choose and can control. If my life is not going where I want it to be then I better make some different choices for myself. I now know that in order to do this right I need to turn to God and simply ask Him for some help. WOW is that ever better than trying to figure it out all on my own!!

OK even I see a pattern here! It is all in the "I". All of these issues are mine to deal with. I am not alone unless I want to be because God is right there to help me if I want to humble myself and ask. Well all those same options are available to my adult children also. They have belonged to God all along now it is time for me to let go and let God deal with them just like he did with me. WHOA!!! Watch out! That was a rough ride!! I was not very in to letting anybody, including God tell me what to do! Big mistake!! I bet my Mom is just giggling right now! I learned the hard way and I see that my kids are bound and determined to do the same.

Now I NEED to let God do the work, not me. Obviously I didn't do such a hot job when it was my turn, so why do I think I'll do any better now!!? HE has it all under control. So I want to try very hard to stay within my own boundaries and control only those things that God has intended for me to. Not so easy, but I will try my best!


The one most powerful thing I can do for my kids now and always is PRAY and pray with serious intention for them. This I do, A LOT!! It does help and it sure gives me peace. I'm not sure where any of you are at, but I hope that this bit of mother stuff let's you see that you are NOT alone in this difficult time.

prison ministry

Ya Know,
I am just starting this blog and I have no idea what I am doing yet. I just have this passion for changed lives!!
I had an attitude of what a mother who's son was in jail must be like... well in the end I was one of those moms!! Man did my point of reference change.

Now I know first hand that those men in there are someones son, father, brother and friend.
I want to give them a face and a voice. The voice my son never had.

I don't know how we can expect for these men to get pitched out of prison. Have no job, court fees to pay, parole rules to follow, no drivers license and tell them to be successful and don't come back!! This is just insane!!!

The system does not work for the post- incarcerated person who really wants to change their lives. I want to do what I can to help. Even if that just means being a voice for those who need to be herd.
I know recovery, I love being a a follower of Jesus Christ who struggles with alcohol addiction and co-dependency. I believe God has allowed me to go straight to the bottom so I had to look up to ask Him for the help I needed. And to feel what some others may also feel.

So this is just the first ramblings on my blog. I am sure I will get more organized in thought and writing soon enough. I just wanted to get started!