Where is the line?

I know that my blog name is "Send Me! Isaiah 6:8" and I do plan on getting to that.

But I had it on my heart today to talk about the area of boundaries.
This, because the lack of or unhealthy boundaries can and will cause us so much trouble in life!!

This year is my first of "empty nest". I want to know where the book is that tells us a fool proof way to live with and love our adult children. OK, and have them love us back!!

I have trampled all over the solid boundary lines when it comes to my kids! And I know better!! I think that I am still in the "parent" mode, that I am having a hard time stepping back and allowing them to make their own mistakes and suffer their own consequences. I want to intervene so they won't have to be hurt. Well what I am doing is stealing their opportunity for a lesson they NEED to learn.

In most circles this is simply called "co-dependency"!!!! And yes I have issues with this when it comes to my kids, even though they are now adults. Nuts isn't it!!!? On the (very few) occasions that I have just left well enough alone... you know what? the world did not end, they figured out the answer to THEIR problem and I got a full nights sleep!! Who knew!!

My kids know if they ask me for advise they are going to get what they need to hear, maybe not what they want to hear. But now I am trying very hard to not offer up this advise without it being ask for first! Not an easy thing to do and I am yet to master it!

I want to walk each day as God would want me to. I want to be good counsel to those who ask, I want to have my words be the words that God has given me to say. Boy is this hard when I still struggle to do life on my own terms!!

I have so far to go... but I am sure not where I use to be!! When it comes to boundaries I work hard to remember where I start and end. That is where I have control. MY thoughts, words, actions and yes even emotions. All those things
I choose and can control. If my life is not going where I want it to be then I better make some different choices for myself. I now know that in order to do this right I need to turn to God and simply ask Him for some help. WOW is that ever better than trying to figure it out all on my own!!

OK even I see a pattern here! It is all in the "I". All of these issues are mine to deal with. I am not alone unless I want to be because God is right there to help me if I want to humble myself and ask. Well all those same options are available to my adult children also. They have belonged to God all along now it is time for me to let go and let God deal with them just like he did with me. WHOA!!! Watch out! That was a rough ride!! I was not very in to letting anybody, including God tell me what to do! Big mistake!! I bet my Mom is just giggling right now! I learned the hard way and I see that my kids are bound and determined to do the same.

Now I NEED to let God do the work, not me. Obviously I didn't do such a hot job when it was my turn, so why do I think I'll do any better now!!? HE has it all under control. So I want to try very hard to stay within my own boundaries and control only those things that God has intended for me to. Not so easy, but I will try my best!


The one most powerful thing I can do for my kids now and always is PRAY and pray with serious intention for them. This I do, A LOT!! It does help and it sure gives me peace. I'm not sure where any of you are at, but I hope that this bit of mother stuff let's you see that you are NOT alone in this difficult time.